Realizing I was gay and married was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. At the time, I had three children under 13, and had known my wife for about 20 years. I didn’t know what to do. GAMMA was a place where I could meet other men like myself so I did not feel like such a freak, and so alone.
I quickly found out about the organization by searching "Gay and Married" on the internet. I did not go to GAMMA meetings right off--the meetings are Friday evenings, and that was the night my wife and I had pizza, wine and watched political shows. (Since I was not out to her, I could not say I had to go to gay married men’s meetings. I had to keep my normal routine.) But just finding the resource was a help.
I’ll never forget my first visit to Gamma right after I came out to my wife and we separated. I was a mess: scared beyond belief, yet relieved that I was finally being honest with myself and others. I remember a welcoming group of men who made it all seem okay. They had survived, and so would I. They listened quietly as I unburdened myself for the first time. I may have cried a bit.
Gamma is a place where you can leave the guilt and the secrecy at the door. You can let your guard down, and even laugh about your common predicament. Everyone’s story is different, and that means that every approach is legitimate.